How to Survive the Silly Season

Tips, to help with festive frolics;

 

For burnt batteries, try sticky black or red rice; filled with anti-inflammatory anthocyanins, antioxidants, and energy-boosting B Vitamins for your body. We particularly love B3, the vitamin responsible for lifting mood (like day dreaming about Dominic West, or making teeny changes to Donald Trump’s Wikipedia page).

 

When you feel like horsing into a tin of Quality Street, try whizzing the flesh of 1 soft avocado with 3 tablespoons of cacao,  1 tablespoon of nutbutter, splash of soya sauce and nip of maple syrup into a supersonic anti-cholesterol mousse. Score.

 

Tired? Try juicing ginger into lemon and water. No juicer? No problem. Peel some fresh ginger, freeze it for 20 minutes, and grate into water with a squeeze of lemon or apple juice. Add a pinch of cayenne to get your blood beating like a voodoo drum.

 

Hungover? Try 1 tablespoon of certified spirulina powder with a small glass of fresh apple juice. This will help keep your liver on speaking terms with you. Bigly. (Although, your taste buds will understandably revolt).

 

When your body feels like a petri dish, get some raw garlic into you. Mix with olive oil and tumble onto a toasted wedge of sourdough. Avoid obvious stimulants – coffee, Nigel Farage, and Xmas FM – which only worsen your condition.

 

Man, woman, or hybrid; you need this stuff on your skin to make it sing louder than Kylie’s. Hand-made in microbatches on the west coast of Ireland. Special order via Twitter. Wizardry.

 

When your digestion conks out, try eating sauerkraut,  kimchi, papaya or pineapple before every meal. Crazy shit, but it works.

 

susan-xmas

 

Psst!

Don’t forget to check out my exclusive Christmas spread in the Sunday Independent, out December 11th.

Fa la la la lahhh …

This article has 6 comments

  1. Aoibheann

    Thank you for a great post Susan. I will be printing off and sticking on my fridge for December!

    One small question, in the avocado mousse (which sounds AMAZING) can you use honey? I know in one of your bonbon recipes you say honey doesn’t work. I am curios to know why not/what happens if you do? 

    Basically I always have honey and the only time I had maple syrup (bought for one of your recipes) I used it once and then it languished in my cupboard growing mould. 😊

    Thank you. 

    1. Susan Jane

      Of course! Honey won’t work in most bonbon recipes and the chocolate seed soldiers. But it’s perfect here (perhaps overpowering, but you’ll be the judge of that).

      So sorry to hear your maple grew mould. My chaps would stick a straw into the bottle, if they were allowed to!

      SJW

  2. Bridget

    “Man, woman, or hybrid; you need THIS STUFF on your skin to make it sing louder than Kylie’s. Hand-made in microbatches on the west coast of Ireland. Special order via Twitter. Wizardry”

    What stuff?

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